Off to a Poopy Start.

August 11, 2009

When I say “poopy,” I mean that literally. I don’t mean “crappy,” as the past two days have, in fact, been awesome. I mean “poopy.” As in, dealing with poop. Or the lack thereof. The power of bowels is a mighty, mighty power indeed, and it has been exerting itself all over my workplace.

First, Thing 2 had explosive diarrhea yesterday instead of a nap. Because yes, it is better to poo all over one’s self and one’s couch than it is to lie down and sleep. I always thought so. Poor thing though, he obviously couldn’t have been feeling well as he’d already dropped a gigantic load an hour earlier. And he really didn’t like having his butt held under the faucet any more than I liked the inevitable poop on my hands, so I guess we were even. Still, a pretty memorable first-day “hazing” experience. I’m becoming jaded. My own children are going to have to crap tsunamis to faze me. And I’m sure they will.

Today, Thing 1 had the opposite experience. That is to say, extreme constipation. He was howling, HOWLING in pain. Poor little guy. Life is hard, and apparently, so are his bowels. I’m glad that this happened when DadBoss was also in the house so that he could take charge of assisting in the PoopScapades while I distracted Thing 2 from his attempts at providing an audience for the howling. Any tips for constipated kids, I’d be happy to add them to my repetoire. The diarrhea is almost easier since it really is just a MESS and there’s not much I can *do* about it – other than feed the guy bananas and withhold all other fruits.

Yes, this is what working with children means. Talking about poop. And cleaning up poop. And thinking about poop. Poop poop poop. I’ll take it over working in a cubicle any day of the week. Poop or no poop, I love my job.


3 Responses to “Off to a Poopy Start.”

  1. lis Says:

    Raisin bran. Lots of it! 🙂 Raisin bran has been my stand-by can’t-poop cure and I’ve yet to meet somebody who didn’t have a good, squishy poop within six hours of a little too much raisin bran.

  2. nannypoppins Says:

    I am starting my first nanny position next week and cringed at your post. Really?! This is what I am signing up for??
    In the end I must concur, any amount of poop is better than a cubicle job. Ironically, my first post today is also about poop. Here’s to my newest conversation topic!

    • Sonja Says:

      Yep. This is exactly what you’re signing up for. You will be discussing another human’s bowel movements at great length. You will also inevitably wipe another person’s nose. At some point, you will put your hands directly into someone else’s mouth without even thinking about it.

      You will do laundry every single night.

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