This is the first image that shows up in a google image search for “nanny.” Don’t let this be you.

For a less serious topic, I thought I’d tackle the most difficult sartorial aspect of my job: the plumber’s area. My job involves a lot of bending over and squatting. As in, I’m ALWAYS bending over and/or squatting. The worst part about this isn’t even the potential embarrassment, as I’m usually in the boys’ home, but the fact that it creates a DRAFT. A DRAFT DOWN MY BUTT. Now, I’m one of those people who “runs cold” (in fact, I run practically hypothermic), so this isn’t just inconvenient, it harshes my mellow to an obscene degree.

I currently have a work-uniform that breaks many laws of fashion, but I don’t really care. I view my work clothes as akin to scrubs for doctors: purely utilitarian. I have given up on trying to be cute, which I could kind of get away with with the Schmoops who were pretty benign in terms of mess and time spent chasing/carrying, but no more. The boys are rough, messy, and require every ounce of strength and energy I have. I can’t afford to spend one iota of that energy on getting dressed in the morning. So… I commit the sin of bib overalls. “Plumber’s Area” is pretty apt since I look like I’m going to get down to some hard labor on the construction site. I care not, I built entire cities out of blocks!

Yep. Waffle shirt, hoodie, overalls and red Mary Janes. (Mine are Dansko and super-comfy.) Inside the house, I even wear fuzzy slippers. Warm, cozy, and best of all: I can get painted on, barfed on, pooped on, and my clothes all just go right in the wash when I get home. (I carry a change of clothes in my car consisting of an extra shirt, yoga pants, and socks – yes, socks, you have no idea how quickly they get besmirched in the event of all out mess, especially where bodily fluids are concerned. I highly recommend ALL childcare workers have a change of clothes handy as both times I’ve been puked on, I didn’t have a spare set and ended up using a blanket as a skirt while my pants went through the wash.) My plumber’s area is protected and I have umpteen pockets for clean/dirty tissues, that thing that the child just gave me that he wants me to hold on to, chapstick, and a pen in case I have a SPARE MOMENT to write something down.

If you don’t want to go for the overalls, I recommend a long cardigan, which is a look that I rocked pretty much all last winter. I had to run around the city of Boston all day long with kids in tow, and this was my default back then.

Yeah, I really am “Red Sonika.” My closet palette is all earth tones with red (and the occasional pink) accessories. My winter coat is red. My purse is red. My wallet is red. My iPhone case is red. The staples of my wardrobe are grey, brown, and green, with hints of orange. I refuse to own anything blue or purple as going into “cool colors” isn’t my territory. Since making these arbitrary sartorial decisions, shopping is much easier and I don’t ever have to think very hard about “does this match?”

On my off days… I’m a little more fashionable in a very boho kind of way. I like to think of my style as “urban bohemian” – also very feminine with a few tomboy accents.

Since it is effin’ freezing out here most of the winter, all outfits are topped with one of my excellent coats. At least, I find them excellent as they are both a) warm and b) not totally butt ugly, a combo that is surprisingly hard to find. Don’t worry, my fur coat (which is more awesome than the one pictured) is totally fake. I like to refer to it as my “No Animals Were Harmed in The Making Of This Coat. Coat.”

And there you have it. Polyvore proof that I am one of the most sartorially boring, if also totally obsessive, human beings alive. But I am also WARM.

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Awesome Blossom.

November 20, 2009

I feel compelled to point out that one of my Virgoan quirks is to read the entire archives of every blog that I follow. I am not stalking you, I just… have completist tendencies. I must use every page in a coloring book in consecutive order. I must finish all books I read, even if they suck. I must own each part of a series – if I’m going to buy one, I have to buy them all.

So, the way that this relates to my blogging (and to specifically to Friday’s Awesome Blossom roundup) is that these might not be recent links. And if you’re wondering “How/why are you linking to this thing I wrote two years ago?! Are you mental?!” The answer is… well.. yes.  Enjoy anyway.

(Worcester, MA. August 2007.)

Weekend Update.

August 29, 2009

Yes, I know, “Fashion Friday” would be alliterative, but it is hard to commit to posting every single Friday. Friday is tricky, as are all weekdays as I can never bank on how tired I’m going to be and how much energy I’ll be able to devote to anything when I get home. If I get home, as Friday can be – even for me, the most boring human on earth – a social night. So, in the grand tradition of SNL: Weekend Update. Bonus: I can use this space for miscellany and not just “fashion.”

I did try to document where I’m starting off in terms of “work fashion” this week, however I did run into some technical difficulties with my computer and it being totally unusable for the purposes of typing anything other than the letter “z.” (A new computer is on its way to me courtesy of some financial planning rigged up by my partner, who is in training to be the Master of the Universe. That’s not to say he’s paying for the whole thing, just that the financial side of things wouldn’t be possible if not for him. Anyway. It’s certainly an exciting end to a frustrating week!)

So, this is where I’m at. Yoga pants and layers. But it’s really hard to do layers with highs of 91F. The outfit in the middle is a non-work outfit that I wore to a BBQ (with the work-fam, actually, but I wasn’t on-duty) to show that yes, occasionally, I wear a skirt. I’m thinking that as we ease into fall, I am indeed going to invest in some leggings to layer with cotton skirts/sweater dresses. I’m hesitant on this as I have giant weird-looking knees, but they allow for a lot of layering options and are certainly easy to wash. It’s a trend I’ve eyed suspiciously, but here I am.

Some inspiration!

1. Daily Outfit — 8/19/09, 2. 060, 3. Untitled

In my previous job, with the Schmoops, I could wear pretty much whatever. I was still better dressed on my days off, when I tend to prefer pinstripes & tshirts to jeans, but I was hardly a slob. I generally wore jeans, a tshirt, and appropriate jewelry/scarves. In Boyland? These aren’t options. In the past two weeks, I have had to do five loads of laundry. I have twice had to change my clothes *at* work, and on my first day, I bemoaned not having put clothes in my car because I wished I could have changed my poopy pants rather than just scrubbing the poop out and wearing pants that were really soggy. (Note: It was not *my* poop.)

Between Thing 1’s love of paint, and Thing 2’s tendency towards getting as filthy as possible, my clothes need to be able to be washed over and over and over again. I also need to have backup clothes. And backup backup clothes. I have gone away from jeans and towards yoga pants. It’s a step up from wearing a track suit.

Still, I used to be cute! I used to have some kind of a fashion sense. (I used to post to wardrobe_remix for a while, too… that helped. I should do that again, methinks.) And I don’t want to become one of those people who looks like she left the house in her pajamas. I’m trying to figure something out, which in cooler weather will probably involve a lot of layers, but for now – it’s so hot that I hardly want to wear clothes to begin with. It certainly has to be possible to wear stuff that’s kid friendly and still look *good.* This is my new mission.

And oh yeah:  accessories? Fuhgettaboutit. My ears and hair get tugged on enough without having anything shiny attached to me.

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Me two years ago. Man, this is probably my all-time favorite outfit of mine. Too bad *all* of it has since been totally annihilated by the effects of time.

I can’t grab the photo due to copyright, but I think that this outfit on wardrobe_remix is totally cute and very doable for what I’m going for.