Potty Talk.

Photo by Flickr user SteveRhode

As with many four year olds, the potty is a topic of endless conversation with Thing 1. I know that most of the stories I’ve relayed from Boyland thus far have been poop-related, but these are both too priceless to keep to myself.

#1: Setting. We are in the bathroom, Thing 1 has just finished going poop.

“I’m done!”

“Good job! Put your pants back on and wash your hands.”

“You need to wipe my bum!”

“Well, I’ll help you, but you need to wipe your own bum.”

“No, if I do it, my hands will get poopy!”

“Well, Thing, what do you think will happen to my hands if I wipe your bum?”

“Your hands will get all poopy!”

“So, perhaps you can see why I don’t want to wipe your bum. I don’t want your poopy on my hands.”

“But you can wash them!”

#2: Talking about his recent introduction to the urinal. He is asking me many, many questions about the wall-toilet, and I am trying to explain to him that his father is a better source of information on that one being as girls don’t use the wall-toilet.

“Mommy’s never seen a wall-toilet.”

“That’s right. Mommies don’t have wall-toilets in their bathrooms because mommies are girls.”

“My mommy’s not a girl!”

“Really? I thought your mommy was a girl.”

“No, she used to be a girl.”

“Well, what is she now?”

“She used to be a girl, and now she’s a big boy!”

(No, I didn’t correct him as such. I’m too much of a hippie. I simply said “Wow, I really thought your mommy was a girl.”)